Forever exists only in kids cotton candy dreams

Written in the stars (elton john and leann rimes)

2007-10-13T11:34:00.000+08:00

I am here to tell you we can never meet again
Simple really, isn't it, a word or two and then
A lifetime of not knowing where or how or why or when
You think of me or speak of me or wonder what befell
The someone you once loved so long ago so well
Never wonder what I'll feel as living shuffles by
You don't have to ask me and I need not reply
Every moment of my life from now until I die
I will think or dream of you and fail to understand
How a perfect love can be confounded out of hand

Is it written in the stars
Are we paying for some crime
Is that all that we are good for
Just a stretch of mortal time
Is this God's experiment
In which we have no say
In which we're given paradise
But only for a day

Nothing can be altered, there is nothing to decide
No escape, no change of heart, no anyplace to hide
You are all I'll ever want, but this I am denied
Sometimes in my darkest thoughts, I wish I'd never learned
What it is to be in love and have that love returned

One day

2007-08-20T02:01:00.001+08:00

Maybe one day we will learn,
That the tears do earn,
The reasons upon our hearts yearn.
Maybe it was the arriving solitude,
Or the steadfast attitude,
That we owed for our gratitude.

The door strangely swung silently,
As the snow surged, somberly.
Hands together, tightly hedged.
Yet the days tolerated no more,
Wishing upon our hearts tore,
Away went the days of yore.

Music at the background, rhythm recited remorse.
We wondered why, ‘round the strangely subdued silence.
In the pouring, passive patter,
Down came the lugubrious, languid longing.
I cried myself to sleep that night,
However hard I controlled with my might.

They say,
Look for the brightest ray.
One day the sun will shine,
Us will have no thorns and vine.
Then the tears will dry,
And for once more, we try.

Remember my name (intro)

2007-08-19T23:51:00.000+08:00

It was night. Or evening. I could not be so sure. The alcohol had long made its way into my body, and the feel of temporary numbness could not be any better. It is exactly like morphine, or cocaine, providing a short reprieve for the pain that resides right inside the tenderness of the heart. The hangover can be quite a headache, yet the way the pain refuses to go, the way it tugs at the heart and sinks all the possible happiness that have not even surface, the numb becomes an escapade of sort. It is like the lesser of two evils, yet who is stupid enough to go through the pain rather than skipping through it?

Understand this

2007-07-29T13:39:00.000+08:00

"I am a fool to keep what I can lose, but I am no fool to lose what I cannot keep and keep what I cannot lose."

Beyond the lines

2007-01-27T13:33:00.000+08:00

Or so they say,
that what is yours remains yours.
Yet you can hold on to something so tightly,
but the feeling of possessing never suffice.

Words.That.Hurt

2006-12-11T02:50:00.000+08:00

Drip. Drip. Drip.
The words that hurt,
that pierce the flesh.
The blatant lies,
the pain dealer.
We live in a world,
which accord words
with too much respect.
We live in a place,
where words alone
could muffle the truth.
But worse of all,
we live in a dimension,
where people have just
too many ugly dimensions.
Sometimes you may want
to cover yourself from these words.
Yet the words you use,
can hurt the person
who has been protecting you
all these while.

That man

2006-12-06T02:25:00.000+08:00

That man,
a detestable kind.
His bespectacled look,
resides a loveless soul.
He seeks fulfilment,
albeit among breaking hearts.
He loves one,
and loves another.
Red flame captain,
he refuses to embrace.
He turns instead to,
embracing new pastures.
I question his integrity,
I question his stand,
but above all,
I question his definition.
His definition that love,
is a separate commodity,
as of sentiments.

Love ain't enough

2006-11-20T00:51:00.000+08:00

"And there's a danger in loving somebody too much,
and it's sad when you know it's your heart they can't touch.
There's a reason why people don't stay who they are.
Baby, sometimes, love just ain't enough."

Untitled

2006-11-05T02:09:00.000+08:00

Rolling, rolling,
lovers tears come falling.
See it, feel it,
sweet saccharine, kisses aplenty.
Hold me close silly,
hold tight or I am gone.
That nightly glow,
it speaks of you.
Come falling down,
heavy expectations incarcerated.
A battered soul,
I wish you here.
Promises you made,
they gone a hiding.
Silly the games we play,
they make no sense.
We need someone to love,
we lost our foothold somewhere.
I will be here,
I will be there,
but funny how it goes,
three words reek of sin and taboo.

Goodbye

2006-10-21T02:50:00.000+08:00

Goodbye.
I said it loud, I said it clear.
Yet beneath the strength,
it hid some tears.
Tears to be understood,
tears to be endured.
But endurance came with limits,
and understanding, with love.
Love was never something we could hold.
We hanker but never understand,
that saying goodbye can be a way to love.
Loving is never a matter of possession,
it can be a form of surrendering.
Tonight I let you go,
not because I love any less.
But because I no longer understand;
love is a word we can never use.
And tonight tears shall be my companion,
tears to be endured,
tears to be understood.
Tears that signified an end.

An end not to love;
an end rather, to be mine.

That smile

2006-10-16T00:40:00.000+08:00

That smile,
it brought back memories.
Days spent in the backyard,
where joy resided in the air,
and love aplenty too.
Or that crazy trip down the stairs,
all thirty floors,
it was really pure fun.
And that innocent smile,
it made us craved.
Time spent listening on the phone,
building up a strong and steady bridge,
not knowing a wall was erected too.
Or that place we called ours,
with laughters, hugs and dinners,
it was really enjoyable.
But that smile,
it hid some pain.
A longing to be understood,
a craving to be perfect,
yet perfection was a flawed idealogy.
Or to be loved,
and to love in return,
yet love was too, an unknown identity.

That smile,
it was so perfect,
it was so loving.
Yet that smile,
it was never for me.
And never for you.
It was just a smile,
never to be shared.

Story

2006-10-13T02:40:00.000+08:00

Flip.
Suddenly, it looked all different again.
The smell, the taste,
the understanding,
all so knowingly unknown.
Step.
The steps taken,
and those retracted,
they jotted out a path,
all so seemingly unseen.
Look.
Be enchanted by the mysterious,
those corners hidden by fog,
or portraits tainted,
all so creepy-ly surreal.
Amazed.
Be amazed at how much one can grow.
The world's a question to unravel,
and a journey to path,
all so amazingly undaunted.
Goodbye.
Say it with gusto,
say it with resignation,
that life is forever temporary,
it is always the spark that matters.

Breaking

2006-10-11T23:25:00.000+08:00

Slowly, but surely,
that icy, chilling wind passed by,
coldness elicited upon the beat.
His haggard form cut a lonely shape,
his forlorn silhouette a pain to see.
Amidst the tormenting blizzard,
steps of his never failed to gather pace.
Yes, yes.
The realisation of truth,
the courage of a man.
The scorching coldness,
he can endure.
Yet as snowflakes awaited, dead,
his heart was breaking,
his eyes were moistened.
He longed for an understanding,
an understanding that never came.
The chill warmed his dead self.
Or heart?

Strength

2006-10-04T01:21:00.000+08:00

Darkness submerged shimmering stars,
and shrouded the dwindling path.
That flicker flashed frantically,
a jolt meant to awake the sound.
The whiteness witnessed weariness,
a longing tugging at the heartstrings.
Tears drowned dreaded departure,
and mercilessly ended the spark.
Yet around the shivering, shaken soul,
courage remained distinguished.
And amidst the luminous lighted life,
love for her shall surround.
For even if fate feted finality,
strength shall bestow upon her.

Always here

Snowflake

2006-10-02T22:01:00.000+08:00

The wintry blast broke banality;
it gushed up right through cerebrum,
which reeked of a strangely similar smell.
That moist maiden mesh,
where touches sensed tranquility,
and a familiar fascinating facade.
Riding on the train through time,
she descended upon yesternight,
carrying along a sweet saccharrine scent.
The flaking, fleeting feel;
memories paced forward,
like constant, changing charges.
Yet places where tender touches tantalised,
a wall upon erected,
that cordoned chummy couples.

He took me away (ll)

2006-09-30T01:21:00.000+08:00

That night again,
the demon came.
He came in a false pretence,
his name otherwise known as love.
His disguise baffled the onlookers,
his reasons never far away.
Together, they can easily
devour the remnants of my soul.
Make me pine, make me hope,
all for the sake of a release,
a catharsis that never comes.
Yet as I drowned in a pool of tears,
someone came up to me and said,
"Wake up boy,
wake up and find your way.
Don't care what the others think.
Care only what is right.
Care only what justifies.
Care only what will heal."
In the middle of the park,
I could hardly make out a figure,
his silhouette a burly one,
his voice yet a familiar one.
I knew then it was him.
He came back for me.
I know I can fall,
I know the world can desert me.
Everyone can shun away,
and not care.
But not him,
not his love.
His fatherly love to see me through,
against all odds,
thus shall rise.
It is strange,
when people around you,
are the people that aren't living
in my heart.
And no wonder they say,
love is eternal.
'cause even when he is not around.
Even when his body cease to exist,
his love will guide me;
Guide me all through,
the fragility of relationships,
the demons residing from within,
the love that is nonchalent.
Thank you.
And the demon dismissed.

He took me away

2006-09-28T03:33:00.000+08:00

It is like a quagmire;
the trap life has set upon him,
as he struggled with his sanity,
amidst the reasoning that he can never be well.
Yet bravely he shoulders on,
he knows his body can fall but never his soul.
"No way." No way.
He can never understand life's cruelty.
Nor its blindness in inflicting a child,
with reality so faraway from fantasy.
Perhaps though when everyone falls,
he can and will be the one standing.
Yet late in the night,
when everyone has returned to the shelters of the cushions,
he stares into the blankness of the sky.
Tears cloud his vision and shake his thoughts.
Tears harden his self and chases him away,
from the life he always wanted to have.
However, tears, signify not the drowning of this child;
rather, the belated awakening of the soul,
and arises the man from within.
That night, like any other night,
the demon came and took him away.
To a life of desires and wastes,
a path he nearly strayed into.
Yes, yes.
He can see it.
"That night he took me away,
was the night I remembered.
That life has plans for me I never know,
and plans so great,
not any man can do."
Yes, yes.
This is it.
Resignation.
Understanding.
That life is temporary, precious and always,
always,
cruel.
But never does hope fall,
'cause the future belongs to those,
who believe in the beauty of their dreams.

Untitled

2006-09-26T23:52:00.000+08:00

The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.

The magic within us

2006-09-24T17:47:00.000+08:00

The passing of time,
doesnt just take away the innocence in us;
It too erases the magic that was once within us.

It was the seamless touch,
which let you know that once the tears dried up,
the pain would be brought away, too.

Yet now tears only display the helplessness of the situation,
it too only represents the hurt,
but never how deep the wound is.

It was also the building of illusion,
that love always is the centre of ideology,
the reason for existing.

Yet the knocking of realisation,
muddles the importance of love,
and brings with it delusions we indulge in.

Will we ever be able to bring back the smiles,
that resided in everyone of us,
when as bubbly kids we skidded down the slide?

Will we ever reignite the spark,
that made us believe once again in,
the power of love,
the magic within us?

Hey boy

2006-09-24T01:15:00.000+08:00

"Hey boy, I know it hurts."
"Ya it does... it hurts so bad I don't know why. All i wanted is to be healthy, to be smart, to be everything that my parents will be proud of."
"But what is stopping you now?"
"The fact that I can't run about pretending I am well when I am not. It is a lie and it is not a lie that I can continue living with."
"And what do you plan to do next?"
"I don't know...(sobs)... I am so lost... I have never been so troubled in my life before. I can't live a life anymore...(sobs).."
"You need courage dear. And above all, you need strength and love to see you through."
"I know, but I can't, I just can't confide in anyone..."
"Confide in me. Confide in your great granny. Confide in your inner self, your inner strength, and they will see you through."
"I just wanted to be well... thats all... thats all.."
"I know it hurts. i know no one will understand. Yet it hurts because you no longer believe in Him. You no longer believe that no matter what problems there are, they are insignicant as compared to the strength of his child, who is all of us. That come what may, you will grow and defeat this fear."
"I cant..."
"Yes you can. Remember, the fact that you are put through this trial showed that you are the one who will be able to handle this. Don't give up on yourself. Above all, don't give up on Him. Don't give up on your dream which will aid thousands."
"Bless me dad, I know you are looking, listening. I won't fall. I won't."

With that, San Bei left in a mystical glow, his powers elevated the shrivering soul of mine.

Live to depart

2006-09-23T02:22:00.000+08:00

He held her in his arms,
she could sense his helplessness.

Tonight he finally smelt,
the emaciated fragrance of love.
An aroma which had gone undercover,
taking shelter like a clover.
His hands were visibly shaken,
his eyes were readily reddened.
He could not ask for more,
he just wanted this moment.
A moment where a look in her eyes,
would suffice to last him a lifetime.
He was smarting from the pain,
hurting from its seemingly absence.
Yet tonight it reappeared,
he could hardly believe it.
He took one last look at her,
he knew his love would see her through.
Through a life destined to be full of happiness;
he was heading a path of realisation.
That his love for her would last them a lifetime,
that his love for her is never a matter of possession.

That his love, his love for her;
No man can ever come close,
no one can ever envisage,
no words can ever describe,
no place will ever allow.

Where once

2006-09-22T00:47:00.000+08:00

Where once abundance of innocence resided,
silliness and desires now replace thus.
Where once parents seemed only a few steps away,
their presence we cannot stand even just a phone call away.
Where once happiness was intended to build for others,
happiness is now built upon others.
Where once a simple toy could last us a week,
a music player can only last us a couple of months.
Where once we are filled with angelic hearts,
demons have ran their rule upon us.
Where once love is without desires,
contemporary sexuality strays us from the true path.
Where once we believed in forever,
reality breeds temporariness.
Where once life was so much simpler,
complexities reside now in simplicities.
Where once we did not give a damn to how we looked,
dressing up becomes a way of deceiving.
Where once I could tell that you are my friend,
your face behind a facade I can't comprehend now.
Where once love was about joy,
love becomes a responsibility.
Where once I could dream of becoming everything I want,
my life is shaped by my inadequencies.
Where once I could turn to everyone,
I can only turn here now.
Where once I knew a real smile,
now I can't even understand you.

Where once we said we must,
now you say you might.

Love

2006-09-20T23:30:00.000+08:00

Slowly and silently,
it crept into our frantic lives.
Determined to leave us with memories,
those that would last us a lifetime.

We grew up in a world of innocence,
we were fed with dreamy fairytales.
We wanted to take the plunge,
we wanted to love like there was no tommorow.

Yet the rolling of the years,
makes us realise it is not just a four letter word.
It encompasses so much more,
it drives you high and makes you cry.

With love comes responsibility,
with love comes desires.
With love comes painful acknowledgements,
where is the purity of yesteryear?

Yet the tatters of the old,
the embedded scars left resided;
they drive me down a path,
a path that threatens to break us apart.

I wish to hold you again,
I wish to say the words that matter.
Yet I know I may not be able to hold on to you,
not when I can't hold on to my sanity.

Sometimes loving you is a contradictory route,
realisation pushes me to the cliffedge.
Loving may not be possessing,
loving can be surrendering.

Most importantly,
loving you is a way of healing my soul.
Yet if I unwillingly hurt yours at the end of the road,
can I, shall I, do I, still say
I love you?

Streetlights

2006-09-19T22:18:00.000+08:00

I spent the whole night chasing the path of yesteryear.
Yet the streetlights only served to cast shadows on my hopes.

Hoping against hope- MW

2006-09-18T23:10:00.000+08:00

Our problems in this world can surely be huge,
but they are never as huge as God.
The issue is never how bad things are,
but how good God is.
Hope lies in having more faith in the power of God,
to heal us than in the power of anything to hurt us.
In realising that as children of God we are bigger than our problems,
we have the power at last to confront them.
For all manifestation of fear is a reflection of the fact that,
humanity has forgotten its spiritual identity.
In beginning to remember it,
we put fear on notice that its days are numbered.

Outlook

2006-09-18T22:40:00.000+08:00

It sounds very much an irony,
but the world looks more beautiful without my glasses on.
You can vaguely see the silhouette of passerbys;
rid off the makeups that disguise their vanity,
yet emitting the humanity that comes within.
The world shrinks to a place of walking figures,
seemingly where no one bothers how you look,
and relegates the ideology of vainglory to the rut.
Yet isnt it all the better more?
Too often we get caught up by how we look,
we criticize peoples' wrinkled face,
and plump greasy shape,
or even their messy hair,
but are we any better?
Are YOU any better?

An appearance is a deceit that fools the foolish,
behind the facade may hide a soul worth relish.

Monster

2006-09-17T16:30:00.000+08:00

I glance at you but i don't know you,
I smell your fragrance but not your lies.
I see your tears but not the hurt,
I am your friend but I don't like you.
I laugh out loud but cringe inside,
I act like I am alright but I'm not.
I am beside you but I am far away,
I sense your happiness but I don't feel for you.
I am a well hidden monster inside you.
My name is hypocrite and I make friends with everyone.
Don't lie by saying you arent his friend.
How can you find a well hidden monster?
Residing in a certain part of you,
rejoicing when everyone has fallen?

TEC

2006-09-13T23:11:00.000+08:00

They prowl the streets,
straight off the bell.
They turn to each other for company,
they couldn't stand the chill at night.
They laugh out loud in between sessions,
they hide secrets which reveal silliness.
It is easy to get drawn in,
it is even easier to get ejected.
They welcome people with open arms,
yet behind their backs labelled a tag.
They are really nice people,
they are just too exclusive.
Though they deny vehemently,
their tags say otherwise.
Yet are we right to criticize?
Do we even know where we stand?
We downed Belgium Chocolate to celebrate,
"Welcome to the coffeehouse!"

I can only see the tags labelled upon peoples' backs,
I can't see what is behind my back.

She

2006-09-06T23:08:00.000+08:00

That night, she flew into my room.

She arrived in her glorious white shade,
her steps warmed the tawny tiles.
A saccharine smile showed me the key,
to unlock the endless love which resided.

I remember that time when we danced,
amidst the alluring tunes her gaze caught me still.
She was never out of my sight,
she was beside me through the night.

Perhaps later on we will realise,
it was never the work of the tulips or the chocolates.
It was the temporary sparkle of nowhere,
that ignited the passion within us.

She continues to pace my life.
She never strays, she chases away the gray.
Yet sometimes how much I wish,
she enters my life long before the hurt arrives.

Irwin

2006-09-05T23:20:00.000+08:00

"Tick-tock, tick-tock", the footprints of yesterday creep past still.
Perhaps then it takes the death of a modern-Noah,
who possesses the ability to make time stalls,
and let us know the preciousness of that trickling second.

Time brushes past us like the wind don't stop,
it strips us off our forever and cloaks us in vulnerability.
It shoves us to the cliffedge of nature,
and exposes how ruthless life can, and will be.

Yet it is the only faithful reminder,
that never fails to gently unravel.
Our mere existence on this spheriod,
is actually fragile, temporary and precious.

And now cruelly the demiss of a great man,
suddenly rushes forth the bolt of consciousness.
It makes us realise how a sparkle sometimes,
burns so much more strongly than a flame.

It takes nothing more than a blade,
to end a possible lifetime of rhapsody.
Yet tears do not signify the end of a journey,
they hail the dawn of realisation due to a man.

Croc hunter forever!

Forever not

2006-09-03T13:24:00.000+08:00

When I was young,
fairytales taught me the story of forevermore.
Prince and princess would reside,
in palaces where abundance joy hide.

Yet as time trickled past,
the dawn of realisation had never been greater.
What stood out as a sweet childhood memory,
I could never envisage to be an apocrphal story.

You realise that forever is a well-contrived phony,
meant to tug children soundly in bed without agony.
It is built on the premises of promises,
yet it never lasts against the test of time.

Perhaps someone will come and teach me,
do I hold on to a lie or do I recline?
Is it still wrong to believe that an illusion,
will one day become my reality?

Realise

2006-09-03T01:00:00.000+08:00

The sound of realisation,
it comes in cruel fashion.
It resides in a hidden cushion,
ridicules my faith in derision.

It awakes the deep sleeping fear,
and threatens to unravel its rear.
It pulls me by the ear,
and leaves me all alone with a tear.

Perhaps realisation came a bit too late.
Like the pie of relief that cannot be ate,
I hanker still for the key to the gate,
where demons dismiss at alarming rate.

He lurks in the dark

2006-08-31T20:40:00.000+08:00

Like a sneaky shadow,
he follows the sound of your traces.
He moves in a slithery manner,
his poise an unfathomable manner.

Behind his veil is a wounded soul,
inside his heart a deepening quagmire.
He is trapped in a whirling gyration,
he seems to have lost his way home.

Yet he remembers the smell of terror,
the taste of lingering chill too.
Like a crippled soldier though,
his steel of determination refuses to buckle.

Perhaps he can win,
yet hope is all he have.
He takes a good look in the mirror,
he could see many reflections.

Me and my problem

2006-08-30T22:32:00.000+08:00

Perhaps a couple of years down the road,
when teenage days have left us behind,
and escaping is no longer a viable option,
we will sit down and take a look at where it had all gone wrong.
Was it plain ignorance,
was it pure cowardice,
or was it an in-built mechanism,
determined to correct whatever wrong there was,
internally.

But the endless pursue of understanding no longer holds any value,
if the problem can never be unlocked with the key.
What is a question without an answer?
What is a future without a pathway?
What then is love when a mystical glow held in at a distance vice?

Looking at myself when darkness curtains,
I shudder to think of a possible future.
Life is full of daunting missions,
yet mine is one which i can never win.
For even if i triumph with my physical silhouette,
my sanity will long be devoured by the inner devil.

As i strolled along the bending pathway,
with droplets of pain drizzling down on me,
my soul refused to acknowledge the calmness there existed.
It wasn't plain stubborness,
nor was it ugnorance at work.
How can a soul be revived,
when it has long lost its way,
sometime when he was still a young little kid,
forced to endure pain people can never envisaged?

As you grow up

2006-08-29T23:07:00.000+08:00

As you grow up,
You realise that life is so confusing.
People promise so many and fulfill so little,
So much so that trust is a word that has lost its meaning.
And you wonder,
At the end of the road what do you exactly get?
Do you wish for the sky,
Or just a goodnight sleep?
There are so many things to chase for,
So different each one will take you.
How do you know which one will lead you off course,
And which one will shape your soul the way you want it?
And as you grow up,
You learn that relationship is so fragile.
Forevermore is a word that is best left unsaid,
For it will only leave some broken hearts too many.
Friendship is another fuzzy facade.
What's real and what's a mirage you cant decipher.
People laugh and people cry,
But do smiles hide a blade and tears show a key,
To unlock what they are really thinking about?
And finally you grow up,
Into a hardened, nonchalent form.
Too many lies, too many false hopes.
Dreams are best left for children to hold.
Where are you going.
Where am i going,
You know?
You know?

Sweet lavender

2006-08-27T19:38:00.000+08:00

Just the other night,
We took a stroll down the orchard.
The sight of perplex variegate,
It calms our souls and nerves.
I knew that I was wrong.
How i wished that i could right,
All the wrongs that I have done.
Tears down your hurtful guise,
Place where kisses used to embrace.
But you turned and say,
Everything was a tad late.

I miss your lingering lips,
The smell of sweet lavender.
Everynight I lay awake,
In search of hidden answers.
But I know once love has passed,
Soul in me has gone and died.

Like the other night,
We could not find words to defend.
The chilling silence of surrender,
It pulls us down and wakes us up.
I knew that I was wrong.
How i wished that I could right,
All the wrongs that I have done.
Cries down your throbbing heart,
Place where my love used to reside.
But you turned and say,
Love will never last.

I miss your lingering lips,
The smell of sweet lavender.
Everynight I lay awake,
In search of new direction.
But I know that you have gone,
Soul in me has grieved and part.

Gone, like the wind don't stop.
No taste lasts, no love stays.
Promises are made to break,
Ours is a mistake that never should have.

I miss your lingering lips,
The smell of sweet lavender.
Every night I lay awake.
In search of some memories.
But I know that I have gone,
Soul in me has cried and downed.

I miss... your lingering lips.
The smell (oh..) sweet lavender.
Coz' every night I lay awake,
In search of you.. yes its you.
But I know that you have gone.
Soul in me has left and end.
Sweet lavender,
Nothing stays, nothing lasts...

For the one who passed me by